I was coming up the driveway after getting back from class, and I thought I saw something moving on the gravel near the edge. Got out and saw a small, irritable snapping turtle. Our tenant farmer put in an irrigation pump and pipeline this morning, and I imagine it upset the Denizens of the Deep (deep muck, that is) and the little guy had probably (and rather unnecessarily) decided to "abandon pond."

I rather foolishly believe that there is a certain balance that arises from the application of reasonable caution when combined with good animal karma, or whatever you want to call it when one has a good rapport with beasties. So I picked the little fucker up (as safely and carefully as one can) and put him in my car, on the floor in front of the passenger seat.

He thanked me by musking (Yeah. That.) on my floor mat. Of course I forgave him, since I am Very Big and he is Very Small, but oh, the STINK from something so tiny! Gah.

Anyway, I parked in front of the house, got a bin to put him in, and took him down to the front irrigation pond to let him go.

On my way to the water's edge, I saw movement to my right.

And there she was.




( Gratuitous leech photo behind the cut. )

I have been incorporated into a nest.

Well--bits of me have, anyway. When I walked Autumn this morning, the bluebirds who have claimed one of the three nest boxes decided that either A.) I was venturing FAR too close to their territory, or B.) my hair (which was flying around in the breeze) looked rather tasty. (Or perhaps it just looked like a bird's nest. :P ) Either way, I was thoroughly dive-bombed by one of the pair. Each time she dove for my head, she let out a loud, indignant *CHIRP!* The third time was the charm, however, and she flew directly back to her nest box with a few pieces of my hair in her little claws.

Yes, it hurt. No, I'm not particularly upset about it. I expect this behavior from the barn swallows, seeing as how they're fantastically human-tolerant unless they have newly-hatched young to protect. THAT'S when they dive-bomb us. The other times, they're not intending to threaten us--they're swooping at the bugs we stir up when we mow the lawn, or walk through high grass. Bluebirds are swallows, so I wasn't shocked to have them coming so close. Can't say as I'm surprised they may have associated me with food, either. My mother has been putting out little trays of meal worms and a special mix of suet to encourage them to use that specific nest box, as it is one she can easily see from the house with the binoculars.

All I can say is that I hope these particular bluebirds have no magical inclinations, lest they use my hair to bind me to their nest as its unwitting guardian. Next thing I know I'll be standing by the birdhouse with a thwarted blacksnake in my hand and no idea how I got there.

Good grief.

I stepped outside with the dog this morning to find that god had puked Disney all over the place. Rounds of robins hopping across the grass hunting worms who pop up, whack-a-mole style, and disappear again with a jaunty tip of their little hats. Maddening din of birdsong, freshly-wakened groundhogs galumphing in the field munching the last of the turnips, daffodils and narcissi crowding the fences and edging the walls, crocuses polkadotting the greening expanse of lawn, and masses of ladybugs and boxelders swarming wherever there's a sunny windowsill. I expect there are even some frolicking deer and baby bunnies, by now.

And yet, in the midst of this sunny, sappy Disneygasm, I can already sense the first hints of tree spooge in the air. I feel it in my very sinuses. Bah. Bah, I say.

If you have 5 minutes, consider spending them watching this.

(The coloration choices of male squid is particularly cute.)

Click here for critters!

Via warrenelliscom...

The Stomp Monkey.

(Oddly heartwarming, but not particularly scintillating for the chimp.)

Today, I was slobbered on by a muddy-snooted water buffalo. He was huge. Simply *huge.* The suckers weigh in the neighborhood of 2200 lbs, and this guy was no lightweight. His breath was... vile, really, and came in short little snorts. He could barely fit his nose into the little plastic grain bucket, but he managed to get his stinky tongue in there and hoovered up massive quantities of the stuff before wiping his muddy mouth on my arm and trying to scratch an annoying itch on the top of his horn'd head on the top edge of the winow opening in my car door. When that failed to provide him with any relief, he then lowered his huge head a bit and started rubbing it vigorously against my side-view mirror. Given the whole "horns" thing, the result was far more scratching of the mirror than the itch.

After it gave up on trying to rip the mirror off the head-scratching, it shoved its great big snoot right in the window and hoovered up another mouthful of feed pellets before finding a tree to rub its ass on in an attempt to scratch that bit, too.

In retrospect, I'm actually pretty pleased that it only used its front bits on my car, as the alternative is far less pleasant. And at least it didn't try to have sex with it. The first water buffalo we passed seemed far too intrigued.

For reference, I have a tiny little Scion XA exactly like this one. The head of a 2200 lb. ruminant animal *more* than fills the window.

Also fed a couple of rheas and saw the cutest little Vietnamese pot-bellied piglets I have ever seen. Their little tails were spinning a mile a minute while they played chase and kicked up their heels. Other than the incredibly rude and ill-behaved foreign tourists ahead of us throwing potato chips out for the animals to eat, and the incredible amounts of dust that were coating my car from the trails (it's been quite dry in the area, of late) I really enjoyed the place. Even looking at the animals from afar was rewarding, and I didn't find anything seedy or unpleasant about the way the animals were being cared for. It's definitely somewhere I'll want to visit again. (Oh yffy...?)

I saw the greatest little churchyard when we were driving around after, and took a heap of pictures. (I have the Sony Cybershot, though--I was too nervous to bring the D80.) Tomorrow, we're going to Stonewall Jackson Cemetery in Lexington, near VMI. I'm glad I have extra memory cards for the camera. :) Then we're going to head home by way of Skyline Drive, and probably stop for dinner somewhere. (I brought a decent set of clothes this time, so I won't feel like a poor relation. :P )

But now... sleep.

Good god! It's like a bad horror movie out there! I decided to take Autumn outside one more time before I went to bed, but we weren't more than five steps from the door when we were set upon by a swarm of vicious, starving mosquitoes. I swear, I could hear the little bastards coming in for the kill. God, it was disgusting! The dog and I were of one mind and we both ran back inside with all speed.

I feel really bad for Autumn because there was nothing she could do but wait for me to brush the thigns off her in the places she couldn't get to herself, seeing as I have the advantage of arms. Now we're both in bed, being itchy. I'm scratching every few seconds, she's flea-biting herself in an attempt to do the same, and my arms and her belly are covered in new, pink welts.

I fucking hate biting insects.

Here's a little garter snake with his head in a hole. He came up with a big, fat grub in his mouth.



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I woke up the other day to the raucous sounds of irate mockingbirds and wrens. Despite their tininess, nothing--but *nothing*--does irate like a wren. I followed the sounds of pisstivity and there, just on the other side of the driveway, was this large blacksnake full of small eggs.

( Two more behind this cut. )

yffy came over this afternoon accompanied by a large, angry snapping turtle. Despite her (probably maternally-motivated) choice of a schoolyard as a great place to lay her eggs, our pond (while not in the best school district), is just a *bit* more suitable. We released her at the edge and watched her being angry. I took this pic a couple seconds after she turned away from the water to menace us.



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She was very grumpy.