Hey, teachers: this one's for you. (This stuns me. And in a public school, no less.)

Colleen Leduc already had a lot going against her. The Barrie woman was holding down a job while struggling to raise her autistic 11-year-old daughter.

. . .

Leduc's weird tale began on May 30, when she dropped young Victoria off for class at Terry Fox Elementary and headed in to work, only to receive a frantic phone call from the school telling her it was urgent she come back right away.

The frightened mother rushed back to the campus and was stunned by what she heard - the principal, vice-principal and her daughter's teacher were all waiting for her in the office, telling her they'd received allegations that Victoria had been the victim of sexual abuse - and that the CAS had been notified.

How did they come by such startling knowledge? Leduc was incredulous as they poured out their story.

"The teacher looked and me and said: 'We have to tell you something. The educational assistant who works with Victoria went to see a psychic last night, and the psychic asked the educational assistant at that particular time if she works with a little girl by the name of "V." And she said 'yes, I do.' And she said, 'well, you need to know that that child is being sexually abused by a man between the ages of 23 and 26.'"

Victoria, who is non-verbal, had also been exhibiting sexualized behaviour in class, actions which are known to be typical of autistic behavior. That lead authorities to suspect she had a bladder infection that may have somehow been related to the 'attack.'

There's more. It's

Oh, now this is just priceless.

Okay, not *priceless*, exactly... For just $40 a year, believers can arrange for up to 62 people to get a final message exactly six days after the Rapture, that day when -- according to Christian end times dogma -- Christians will be swept up to heaven, while doubters are left behind to suffer seven years of Tribulation under a global government headed by the Antichrist.

Thanks a whole fuckin' lot for speaking for the rest of us. "Atheist" (in big ol' scare quotes) does NOT equal "uncouth scofflaw." (And I'd be purifying the confessional, too--but I'd be using Lysol. I imagine it's more effective at removing residual bodily fluids than incense alone.)

Today--the infamously frisky First of May--has been designated the National Day of Prayer. (Because that's *sure* to keep everyone's minds on Jesus and out of the hormone-flooded gutter of Spring.)

Fuck censorship. Just fuck it. And fuck fundie-fuelled censorship twice as hard with a pointed stick.

Via Wired:
A U.S. government-funded medical information site that bills itself as the world's largest database on reproductive health has quietly begun to block searches on the word "abortion," concealing nearly 25,000 search results.

Called Popline, the search site is run by the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health in Maryland. It's funded by the U.S. Agency for International Development, or USAID, the federal office in charge of providing foreign aid, including health care funding, to developing nations.

The massive database indexes a broad range of reproductive health literature, including titles like "Previous abortion and the risk of low birth weight and preterm births," and "Abortion in the United States: Incidence and access to services, 2005."

But on Thursday, a search on "abortion" was producing only the message "No records found by latest query."

( Rest of article behind the cut, or via the link, above. )

(Turn off/down your speakers unless you want to get .midi'd to death.)

We recommend destroying or burning all dolls. This includes stuffed animals. Boys don't call their little toys "dolls", but they fall into the same category. Many "toys" on the market today are demonic in nature, and some even look evil. As a Christian parent, you need to raise your children more in tune with God instead of the influences of the devil.

Also: "The Lord began to show us the legal grounds satan held. It was in his dolls!

He had received one for Christmas and a small plastic boy sailor doll at birth. The Lord also told my husband of various stuffed toys (in shapes of animals - whales, dogs and kangaroos), a plastic toy "Big Bird" and matching bib. These were thrown away and curses from them broken. (Look for strange sicknesses or diseases that will not heal in children.)

When the Lord commanded that "no graven images" were to be made, He wasn't being cruel and heartless. He knew the damage they could put upon people (Ex. 20:4). The Lord has also shown us that puppets are a deception and the Lord places a curse on those that use deceit (Jer. 48:10)."

And this little gem: "I want to give you some information about two demons that were recently revealed to me. The first one's name is "GYROMANCY". GYROMANCY is appearing on the new FRUITOPIA bottled fruit drink." And, apparently, in Red Lobster restaurants, as well: "We were even in Red Lobster and the plates we were being served on, has the spiral COIL throughout the center and on the outside edge were 8 fish with spirals in their belly." Because really--isn't it obvious that *every* spiral indicates the presence of GYROMANCY...?

the Philippine Department of Health has issued some advice (and warnings) for those taking part in Easter crucifixion rituals. Sterilization of whips, for example, is apparently quite important if one wishes to avoid inconveniently located infections after the requisite period of self-flagellation.

Who'd've thought?

This brings tears to my eyes. And not in a good way.

For example... One of the children, at the age of three, asked his father if he (the child) was going to go to hell when he died. The father asked him if he'd sinned against god. The child said nothing. The father asked him if he'd always obeyed his mother. The child said no. The father told him that yes, he was going to go to hell because he had sinned against god. The child then begged to be baptized, and was "born-again" at the age of three.



(Entire series can be seen here.)

If they're kept isolated like this (homeschooled, etc.) for their formative years, you can't blame them for the things they're going to believe.

Celibacy screws Irish Catholics.

And I quote...

[N]ew figures revealed the extent of the drop in clergy numbers in the Irish Catholic Church that is now reaching catastrophic proportions.

Last year 160 priests died while only nine men were ordained, and 228 nuns passed away with only two newcomers taking religious vows.

Under current trends of ageing clerics and few recruits, the number of priests will halve from 4,752 to 1,500 over the next two decades. Convents could become an antiquarian rarity.

This is one of Miller's BBC series called The Atheism Tapes. This is not an anti-religious screed--it's Miller's point of view, having survived the Depression as a Jew in a climate that was far, far from accommodating. Arthur Miller is amazing, and his perspective is worth considering.

Another gem from Pahryngula:

"If Norman Bates were the author of this paper, I'd be able to tell you exactly which parts he wrote while wearing a dress."

(Or, "Oh, no. Not the 'mighty creator' argument again.")

(Profanity--probably NSFW.)

Nicky Campbell and Sonia Deol host a series of moral, ethical and religious debates on topical issues live from Oxford. On the panel are former Archbishop of Canterbury Lord Carey, Professor Richard Dawkins, Ann Widdecombe MP and Jonathan Bartley, joined by special guest John Barrowman."

Oh, now this should be a fucking HOOT. Dawkins, Barrowman, and the former Archbishop of Canterbury. What a lineup!

They should be learning, exploring the world and developing critical thinking skills, not drowning in doctrine in a veritable swamp of religious zealotry.

Fifty Atheist Aphorisms


1. Abstinence makes the Church grow fondlers.

2. Honk If Your Religious Beliefs Make You An Asshole

3. Intelligent Design Makes My Monkey Cry.

4. Too Stupid to Understand Science? Try Religion.

( Continue? )

(Mildly NWS, depending on your environment.)

Far more attractive than Jesus in a mouldering cheese sandwich, we have... this.

It would seem that the end is near.

(Via dibsy.)

If you enjoyed (or were incensed by) yesterday's post, here's another. (It's on YouTube, in ten parts.)

Part 1: