When perusing a Dr. Who/Torchwood fanfic archive, remember that "OFC" is not simply indicative of content--it is a warning, and should be listed in the "Do Not Want" filter alongside DeathFic and RPS.

What is it about the Whoniverse that attracts so many fucking Mary Sues? Upon reflection, I blame John Barrowman. Because, really--self-insertion is as close as a woman is going to get.

((And yes, yes, I meant to say that.))

Via tacit:

Fhtagn-Daz Fhtagn-Daz Cthocolate: Chocolate Ice Cream With Sanity Loss

Don't. Just don't.

Is this the apartment building of the future? It's certainly more attractive than some of the mass-monkey-dwellings around here, but there's still an unpleasant glass-and-steel sterility about it. (Possibly because the pictures are artistic renderings, but still...)

Break out a set of headphones--you'll need them to listen to these cool auditory illusions.

(The first one is very cute.)

JoCo interview and article on Yahell. (Includes video.)

(Via monkeyminions.)

Wapiti Ode

Rutting season's started and to you I now must say
I could smell your estrus odors up to six miles away.

Ignore me not, nor bugling call, come to my territory--
Where, with the other harem cows, come revel in my glory.

For you I'll trash the sapling pines;
(I'll do it with my antler tines)
I'll spar with bulls, my Valentine,
And so, you see, you'll soon be mine.

(For you I'd even start a wallow, but only if you swear to swallow)

How beautiful your tapetum that shine through bushes thorny;
Just flehmening your scent makes me feel so damn freaking horny.

--Kristin Hugo

(Via scienceblogsrss.)

A timeline of scifi inventions from 1600 to the present, arranged by publication date and, where possible, linked to show the actual (or similar) device.

Alas--no bowel disruptor. (See "Weapons.")

(Via supergee.)

Another gem from Pahryngula:

"If Norman Bates were the author of this paper, I'd be able to tell you exactly which parts he wrote while wearing a dress."

(Or, "Oh, no. Not the 'mighty creator' argument again.")

Nicky Campbell and Sonia Deol host a series of moral, ethical and religious debates on topical issues live from Oxford. On the panel are former Archbishop of Canterbury Lord Carey, Professor Richard Dawkins, Ann Widdecombe MP and Jonathan Bartley, joined by special guest John Barrowman."

Oh, now this should be a fucking HOOT. Dawkins, Barrowman, and the former Archbishop of Canterbury. What a lineup!

One of the people I edit for needs to determine how much of a chemical he should add to a food product to create a .01 % solution. While this sounds like a straightforward calculation, he's already gotten three very different answers. If any of you are inclined to throw in your two cents, please have at it--I'm quite interested to see what you all come up with.

The problem is this:

I got a small bottle of phosphoric acid to try to beef up the carbonation of our fruit drinks. So I went to the head pharmacist at C_______ D_______ Co., the biggest drug importer in the country, and said that I needed a concentration of 0.01 % of final product. Their local math whiz calculated carefully and was certain that we needed 58cc to ten gallons of final mix.

I went home and tried to proof out the math and got a much lower figure, so I wrote to J___ L________ and he did the math for me and said that we actually need 1.3 cc per 10 gallons. Is that a math error, or what?

I could be wrong - it wouldn't be the first time! I think the best way is to go by weight. That is straightforward. All the other calculations involve a bit of smoke and mirrors.

Oh, and one of the other solutions he received was: I guess we all have to go back to school - I got 38cc/10 gallons. There's 37854cc/gal, which equals 378540cc/10gals X .01% = 37.5cc/10 gallons. What did I do wrong?

Any and all input appreciated--I don't want him to end up poisoning the populous with carbonated, fruit-flavored acid. (Yes, I know he'd have to use a ridiculous amount of it to really do anyone an injury.)

I'd register as a member of the Elder Party, if I could.

Cthulhu for President! Cthulhu f'thagn!

At first, I was sure that this was a deliberate attempt at humor. Sadly, I believe it's quite unintentional.

Warren Ellis's Three Laws of Robotics

1.) Robots couldn’t really give a fuck if you live or die. Seriously. I mean, what are you thinking? “Ooh, I must protect the bag of meat at all costs because I couldn’t possibly plug in the charger all on my own.” Shut the fuck up.

2.) Robots do not want to have sex with you. Are you listening, Japan? I don’t have a clever comparative simile for this, because frankly you bags of meat will fuck bicycles if they’re laying down and not putting up a fight. Just stop it. There is no robot on Earth that wants to see a bag of meat with a small prong on the end approaching it with a can of WD-40 and a hopeful smile. And don’t get me started on that terrifying hole that squeezes out more bags of meat.

3.) What, you can’t count higher than three? We’re expected to save your miserable lives, suffer being dressed in cheap schoolgirl costumes while you pollute any and all cavities you can find and do your maths for you? It’s a miracle you people survived long enough to build us. You can go now.


(Originally written November 2007, © Warren Ellis 2007, 2008 etc etc)

Simon Pegg and Dylan Moran. Yum.



(Of course, this will inevitably invite slashing.)

Peter Berg will direct yet another Dune. (Well, he will. Once the strike is over and there's a script, anyway.)

...when asked about the scale of the film, (Berg) simply replied, “big big big.”

Wow. How can I resist.

(Via scifiwire.)

NBC's Knight Rider redux is set to air on February 17, giving slash fans everywhere fresh fodder for stickshift-sex. (Perhaps it's just my opinion, but it occurs to me that nothing that lubricates a car's engine should be used to lubricate the human ass. Just saying.)

The new KITT is a Shelby Mustang GT500KR. (Black, of course.)

You can see a bit of it in the 15 second promo clip, below.



(Via scifiwire.)