I think it was Bill Hicks who said, “Its always funny until someone gets hurt. Then its just hilarious.”
Andy Kaufman did a bit where he started out crying, and gradually changed his noises and facial cues into a laugh.
And Robin Williams said, “Joke ‘em if they can’t take a fuck.”
Humor is the absence of terror, and terror is the absence of humor. When we laugh at something painful, we take some of that pain away. Robert Heinlein goes on about this at some length in “A Stranger in a Strange Land”, in short saying that we laugh so that we do not cry.
The laugh is the release of a sort of tension. When a joke flops, that tension isn’t released, and there is that awkward silence. The punchline or laugh is like a non-sexual orgasm. When someone is hurt by a joke, its because they have not released that tension.
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